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Trump Throws Impotent Shit Fit Over FBI Agents Not “Taking Off Their Shoes” in His Bedroom

As most people probably don‘t need reminding, last month, the FBI executed a search warrant at Donald Trump’s for-profit club and private residence, Mar-a-Lago. There, they reportedly discovered the former president had information about a foreign country’s nuclear secrets, among other classified documents that one of his lawyers had claimed he’d already returned. All of this is an extremely big deal, and we know that because in order to search the joint in the first place, the government had to get a federal judge to sign off on the warrant, which he only did after being convinced there was probable cause to believe the ex-president may have violated the Espionage Act, in addition to other crimes. If indicted and found guilty, Trump could face more than three decades in prison, a place that he would not fare well given the lack of Diet Coke valets.

But the thing that is most upsetting to Trump at the moment? The thing that resulted in a social media meltdown and which he’s probably demanding his lawyers sue over immediately? That the agents who raided his home—again, on suspicion they’d find evidence he violated the Espionage Act—wore their shoes in his bedroom.

On Sunday, the ex-president took Truth Social to inform his followers: “I’ll soon be heading to the scene of the unwarranted, unjust, and illegal Raid and Break-In of my home in Florida, Mar-a-Lago. I’ll be able to see for myself the results of the unnecessary ransacking of rooms and other areas of the house.” Hours later, he returned to the app to relay the injustice he’d found, writing that “in any event, after what they have done, the place will never be the same. It was ‘ransacked,‘ and in far different condition than the way I left it.” Then he dropped the bomb: “Many Agents—And they didn’t even take off their shoes in my bedroom. Nice!!!”

While Trump has long been described a germaphobe, he has a documented history of engaging in less-than-hygienic behavior, including shaking hands well into March 2020, and allegedly having unprotected sex with a porn star, the latter of which he denies. But apparently he can’t stand the idea of people wearing their outdoor shoes in his room. And that’s not where the fixation ends.

Last month, Trump complained that a photo released by the Justice Department showing classified documents scattered on the floor of Mar-a-Lago made it look like he wasn‘t on top of his housekeeping, ranting on Truth Social: “Terrible the way the FBI, during the Raid of Mar-a-Lago, threw documents haphazardly all over the floor (perhaps pretending it was me that did it!), and then started taking pictures of them for the public to see.” Later, he called into a radio show and complained, “A lot of people think that when you walk into my office, I have confidential documents or whatever it may be—all declassified—but I had confidential documents spread out all over my floor. Like a slob.“

Anyway, memo to the FBI: Next time you raid one of Trump’s homes, make sure to leave your shoes at the door!




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